Fake News Conspiracy Theorist Appointed National Security Advisor

December 9th, 2016 No comments
Prime Minister Aims to Dominate Fake News Industry

Prime Minister Aims to Dominate Fake News Industry

One week ago, SoggyTrumpCard, Shalampax’s Prime Minister, appointed the country’s leading conspiracy theorist and fake news fabricator, MicaFlint, as her National Security Advisor and Chief of Strategy. She announced the appointment only today.

When asked why it took her a full week to make the appointment public, she responded, “I like to surprise people. That’s what’s been wrong with our recent leaders. They forgot about the element of surprise. What losers! Not me. I wanted to surprise people. And I did! Believe me!”

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Build That Wall!: SoggyTrumpCard’s Top Priority

December 3rd, 2016 No comments
Build That Wall!

Build That Wall! (Artist’s rendering.)

Shalampax’s Prime Minister, SoggyTrumpCard, today announced that her number one priority is to “build that wall!”

If you have been paying attention and give a damn, neither of which are normal for Shalampaxians, you might very well ask, what wall? I didn’t know either. So I asked her. It seems that our Prime Minister is determined to build a wall around the  full circumference of our tiny island nation.

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Post-Factual Politics: “Facts” & “truth” are outdated

December 2nd, 2016 No comments
Post-Factual Politics

Post-Factual Politics

SoggyTrumpCard, our new Prime Minister, often makes statements that, shall we say, lack a certain degree of truthfulness. To be clear, “lack a certain degree of truthfulness” typically means they aren’t the least bit truthful. Or, as I argue below, they’re part of the new “post-factual politics.”

For example, she recently stated, “I won the popular vote for Prime Minister by a huge margin.” In fact, this is false. She didn’t win any votes. No one ran against her. She won by acclamation. Therefore, she received exactly zero votes.

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Tweeting Prime Minister: SoggyTrumpCard Takes to Twitter

December 1st, 2016 No comments
Beware of the tweeting Prime Minister

Beware of the tweeting Prime Minister

I have a bad feeling about this. A very bad feeling. Our new Prime Minister, SoggyTrumpCard, opened a twitter account and started tweeting out of it yesterday. Watch out, Twitter. This could get ugly. Very ugly. Very quickly.

If her first tweets are any indication, it’s clear where she’s going with her tweeting. She’s obviously out to emulate Donald Trump, a xenophobic, misogynistic, race-bating, bullying, “fact”-fabricating Twitter star based in the United States. Many people also allege he was elected as President of the United States, but that requires further confirmation. Read more…

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President Trumped by Webmaster: SoggyTrumpCard’s First Failure

November 30th, 2016 No comments
Failed President: SoggyTrumpCard's supporter registers disappointment

Failed President: SoggyTrumpCard’s supporter registers disappointment

In my previous post I told you about the election of SoggyTrumpCard as our Prime Minister. As soon as she assumed office she tried to change a few things, starting with her job title. She wanted to be President, not Prime Minister. It didn’t go well.

SoggyTrumpCard got the idea for the change to the title of Shalampax’s head of government from Twitter. Twitter is where she gets most of her ideas. It’s her primary news and information source.

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Change of Government: The Trump Card Wins

November 29th, 2016 No comments

Random change of government metaphor because our SEO consultant said we should include an image

Random change-of-government metaphor because our SEO consultant said we should include an image

It’s been a long time since I last posted anything here. The truth is nothing—absolutely nothing—worthy of note happened in Shalampax for a very long time. That is, nothing noteworthy happened until yesterday. Then we had a change of government.

To say that nothing significant happened in all this time is, of course, something of an exaggeration. Just last month, for example, Perfunctory Travellers Magazine named Shalampax as the most boring country in the world. However I didn’t think this warranted mention because Shalampax doesn’t grant tourist visas, or visas of any kind, so travellers, perfunctory or otherwise, can’t come here. Besides, Perfunctory Travellers Magazine bestows this award on Shalampax every year without fail. So it’s pretty much expected now.

Yesterday’s change of government is, however, worth talking about—or at least as close as anything ever gets to being worth talking about in Shalampax. Read more…

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