Sage Mike, one of those infinitely spiritual folks over at the Church of Infinitiaty, has taken up blogging. As his adopted name implies, Sage Mike is one of the sages of Infinitiaty. His blog, which is blandly called Sage Mike Prattles, answers questions from members of the Church of Infinitiaty and discusses all things Infinitian.
(If you’re looking for the blog on the Church of Infinitiaty’s Web site you’ll find it under the “Outreach” drop-down menu in the menu bar at the top of the Web site.)
I suppose it was inevitable that one of the sages would start blogging. As all ardent bloggers know, blogging is a great excuse for avoiding doing anything useful. In the case of the sages of Infinitiaty, usefulness is measured by how fully they serve every need and whim of the Chief Sage Officer (CSO) and how well they fake wisdom in front of the general public, in that order and mostly the former.
With any luck, I’ll get my cute little ass fired off this blog-writing gig because my creative juices aren’t flowing. My lack of a clue as to what to write here bothered me, but then I thought, I’m the spiritual writer here. The answer is obvious. Pray to Paahlm for divine inspiration.
So I prayed to Paahlm asking It to deliver unto me a blog post; a good one, please. I prayed like nobody’s business, which is a rather stupid thing to say because it is nobody’s business but my own. The point is, I prayed like crazy. And crazy is what I’ve always thought of praying, but never mind. Despite all of that fervent praying, Paahlm didn’t come through.
Then I thought, maybe I’ve been wrong all these years. Maybe Paahlm isn’t the one true God. So I tried praying to Yahweh, the Hebrew God. I prayed with all of the sincerity I could possible fake, but still nothing came to me.
Alright, I thought, if Yahweh won’t answer me, maybe His Son will. But, Jesus Christ either was incapable of coming up with a decent blog post or He decided He didn’t want to be on speaking terms with me. Whatever the case, He delivered nada to me. If He can’t help me out with a small request like this, then what the hell good is He? I hope His Father scolds Him for His impertinence, but considering that His Father ignored me too, probably not.
Some of the other folks at Shalampax Speaks are saying that I’ve become obsessed with this Internet thingy. They say that my plan to dominate Twitter was the ultimate proof, but they also complain that there is no reason why we have to put out a post on Shalampax Speaks every day, seven days a week, 365 days a year, 10 years a decade, 10 decades a century, 10 centuries a … Well, you get the picture.
The other authors want to cut back on their writing schedule. And they say that my insistence that at least one of us must post something here every day is absolute proof that I’m addicted to the Internet thingy.
Hey peeps, this was almost very embarrassing.
I’ve been catching up on my napping for the last several days. In fact, I had to ask a neighbor what day it was because I thought, correctly, that I might have slept through a couple of days. How my bladder was able to hold up is a mystery that will likely never be solved. (Yes, I checked. My sheets and mattress are dry.)
All of that is irrelevant. The embarrassing part is that when I called into the Shalampax Speaks office I was told that my name was on the docket to provide today’s post.
Up until today, Shalampax Speaks has had a brand new post up here every single day for 181 consecutive days. Think about that. 181 consecutive days without missing a post.