Shalampax Speaks

Celebrate National Mime Day!

The Government of Shalampax has passed a proclamation naming today National Mime Day.

Shalampax’s National Mime Day is a statutory holiday that honors and celebrates the effort and commitment that mimes around the word and over the years have put into learning and perfecting their craft and then employing their art for the sake of our entertainment and amusement.

Sadly, audience adulation often eludes even the most talented of mimes. Worse, hoodlums sometimes steal the contributions dropped into the hats of busking mimes. Mime buskers are frequently unable to find their way out of the invisible boxes in which they have been cruelly placed in time to rescue their meager earnings.

Read more…

At 3:00 p.m. today, in celebration of Shalampax’s National Military Day, all soldiers in the Shalampax army will ceremonially march in full dress uniform along the third floor’s north hallway. Guns will not be carried as the army doesn’t own any.

The parade will end in the third-floor pub. There, Emptybeerbottle, the only soldier in the Shalampaxian army, will attempt to recruit someone to replace her so she can, in her words, “finally get the hell out of this fucking, joke of an army.”