Posts Tagged ‘Infinitiaty’

Escape from God 148 Piety

August 7th, 2011 No comments

I am pleased to report that most Shalampaxians have emaciated themselves into accepting the inescapable truth that forsaking their devout worship of God 148 is the only sane and survivable course of action, despite the inevitability of being denounced as infidels and shunned by those few souls who are still pious in their God 148ly beliefs and deeds. Consequently, the apostates are now on the road to recovery with the help of a much needed, greatly appreciated orgy of gluttonous feasting.

However, because they discovered that they have a fundamental personal shortcoming, not all of my compatriots have been able to follow my path in going cold turkey and completely giving up on religion. Deprived of the benefit of the excuse of God 148’s insistence on strict observance of Her full-week-minus-a-second Sabbath, they are incapable of finding their own reasons for sloth. Rather than forsaking all God-given excuses for indolence and thereby being expected to work what, in most of the developed world, would be considered to be a full workweek, many have reverted fully to Paahlmism, but others have moved their spiritual allegiances a single God down the line in the infinite hierarchy of Infinitiaty’s Gods. They now worship God 147.

God 147 is not as efficient as God 148. Unlike God 148, who created Her universe and all of the creatures in it in less than one second and then rested for the remainder of the week, God 147 took three days to complete His universe- and creature-creating tasks and then rested for four days. Thus, worshippers of God 147 are required to honor only a four-day-per-week Sabbath.

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Divine Shopping

October 11th, 2009 13 comments

I don’t think the marketing folks over at Religco ever sleep. It was only a short while ago that they launched the Infinitiaty cult religion. Now, they are busy increasing the revenue potential of Infinitiaty.

Religco or, more precisely, its Infinitiaty subsidiary recently opened the Infinitiaty Church Store. Infinitiaty’s religious leaders encourage believers to show their infinite piety by shopping in this heavenly online store.

The Infinitiaty Church Store offers a variety of merchandise, including shirts, sweatshirts, bumper stickers and more.

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